An Orgasm a Day.

My wife used to be quite an orgasmic woman.

In those formative years when people experiment with themselves my darling slave experimented quite a bit.

Yet somehow in the years after that exploration and marriage she went from an orgasm a day to 2-3 a week. Quite a difference!

The hope when she was the Mistress was that we would get back to the 1 orgasm a day she used to feel when she was exploring.

Even at the height of her control I could not achieve the desired effect of 1 orgasm a day.

Yet, now with my dominance it is so clear how to get to 1 orgasm a day. Starting tomorrow my slave will be required to orgasm every single day. Quite often I hope to include a lot of intimacy in this however even if she is not fully in the mood she will orgasm every single day because it pleases me.

Thankfully we have the Magic Wand. With that little device she will be able to orgasm every single day within 5-10 minutes even if she is not initially aroused.

She agreed to this readily even though she realizes that she will not always be horny and in the mood for an orgasm.

She wants to achieve a level of sexuality with me that she hasn't achieved before. A required orgasm a day is the best way to it.

Let's see how the first week goes, shall we? ;-)

Asserting Control

Dominating my slave is the surest way to lift my mood and reset my entire emotional landscape. I can go from feeling anxious, guilty, and uncertain to feeling confident, positive, and assertive just by looking down into his submissive eyes, cropping him, and stating categorically that I'll be denying him. This is true even if my anxieties had nothing to do with sex or our relationship.

Sometimes I can't imagine not being dominant anymore, even though it started out as a way to indulge my husband. Why, then, do I sometimes resist it?! These episodes are coming less frequently these days, but each time they occur, I question everything from the healthiness of a femdom relationship to my husband's happiness to whether BDSM is really classified as a mental illness.

A few days ago I reasserted my control a bit forcefully.

Before his father got so sick, J had some rules that I was beginning to enforce regularly regarding his personal health habits and his cock. I had relaxed these rules for a bit, but I decided it was time to reintroduce them this week, and I sensed that he was ready as well...but feeling rebellious.

The rules I speak of are these:
1. That he exercise four times per week for half an hour minimum;
2. That he absolutely avoid fast food; and
3. That he not play with my property without my permission, even if it is only to tease himself.

The first two exist for his health and my pleasure. I want my slave not only to look physically fit and appealing, but also to have the stamina to please me at length without tiring or cramping. And I want him around to serve me for many years to come, of course. Before we implemented these rules we discussed his feelings on my use of sex to control his eating and exercise habits. He confirmed that he didn't find it demeaning and could think of no better, more enjoyable way for keeping fit.

The third rule is to ensure that submission is always on his mind. He can't even touch himself without asking my permission. And I often say no.

This weekend I told J that these rules were effective immediately, when he'd thought he had another week or two of relative freedom. He protested. Strongly. He whined. He said, "But I thought I had until next week!" When I responded, "But why wait? I want you to start this week," he did not take this hint. He whined more.

I was displeased.

This was the straw that broke the camel's back, as I had already been irritated with him for persisting in his horny attempts to arouse me when I had flat-out told him I did not intend for us to have sex today, that I wasn't in the mood to be pleasured, and that I wanted to spend some quality time together out of bed.

Finally I brought out the crop. And I cropped him hard. And I explained forcefully, each sentence punctuated by a strike, that these rules are not about what he thinks or he wants. He is the slave. I am the Mistress. I made these rules for his own benefit, and I made these rules because they please me, and that should be his only concern: that they please me. And when Mistress says no to a horny slave, that means no.

If life were logical, I would have felt bad for cropping and scolding him. Instead, I felt much better. I felt back in control. He began to exhibit the proper submissive behavior. I no longer felt guilty about denying him sex. Much (not all, but much) was right with the world.

Acting dominant makes me feel more dominant, just as acting confident or sexy makes one feel so. Now I just have to figure out how to motivate myself to act this way when I am simply not feeling it at all. Slave helps by provoking me to punish him when he sees I'm feeling down, but sometimes this backfires and makes me feel guilty for wanting to punish him instead.

Perhaps as I get more used to this lifestyle, this will happen more naturally.

Your continuously learning Mistress K

Community

Before sitting down to write this post I cropped my slave. I bent him over the bed in his light pink panties and I smacked his ass hard and fast without counting. I didn’t crop him because he needed to be punished. I cropped him because I was anxious. I cropped him to relieve my own tension. I cropped him because I can, and because he reminded me that I can.

As I cropped my slave, my reasons for starting this blog multiplied exponentially in my mind. Five days ago I’d barely ever considered the extent of the online femdom community. I figured we would be lucky if anyone at all ever read my posts. I had read books of encouraging advice about becoming a Mistress, but I never imagined actually personally interacting with other women like me or other couples like us.

Suddenly I have followers. People literally around the world have read about my intimate relationship with my husband. It seems like that should scare me. My sense of self-worth as a wife, as a Mistress, and as a writer is now tied to what I’ve posted here. People will have expectations of me, will be disappointed in some of my thoughts and feelings, in what I do and do not write or tweet or comment about. More importantly, my husband is now interacting with this community as he has never done before, and I am seeing a different side of him. We have always moved slowly, growing into our roles of Domme and sub at my pace. Now he has nameless faces encouraging him, cheering him, and handing him suggestions and photos and links.

This is a bit overwhelming, but my excitement outweighs my nerves. As I channeled all my worry into cropping my sissy slave, I realized: I would write about this cropping. And people would understand it. With complete nonchalance and approval they would accept that my husband and I both desired that little exchange of pain—something I still struggle with. Many of them would also empathize with my conflicted feelings. They might comment and tell me that they’d been through the same thing as novice Mistresses, or that they still feel that way now, or that they (as slaves themselves) can reassure me that my slave enjoys it as much as he claims.

In any case, this blog is clearly accomplishing one of its primary goals already: to help us explore this facet of our relationship more deeply. To keep him from bombarding me with new ideas too quickly, I have ordered my slave to keep a notebook of thoughts and desires inspired by his online interactions. I can look at them at leisure when I’m ready and indulge his desires in my own time. I have no doubt we’ll both be emboldened to try new things on a regular basis. Furthermore, I will feel more fulfilled as an individual using my writing talent in an honest and passionate medium; my slave will have an outlet and a support community for the desires he’s always experienced alone; and we will learn to trust each other more implicitly than ever.

I thank you, very sincerely, for reading and for sharing.

Mistress K

Guest Blog: A Love Letter to Mistress K from sub J

Dear Mistress,

I am writing this letter in response to your desire for a guest blog. The one suggestion we received was for a love letter to you. So, without further ado, here goes nothing!

I love you with all of my heart, mind, and soul! I knew when I married you that you completed me, but boy, I did not realize just how much you completed me! This last month or so has been exquisite in the depth to which you have gone to truly take me over as your slave.  

I love the way you look into my eyes and say, “Not today, slave” while I rest between your thighs, tongue gently lapping at your clit, finger making circles against your g-spot. 

I love the way you tie me to the bed, music playing in my headphones, unable to talk or see while you run your hands along my body, along your cock. It makes me shiver just writing it!

I love the way that you crop me while I am gagged so you don’t have to hear my whimpers and groans from the pain. I know it makes it easier for you to punish your slave harder if you can’t hear him.

I love the way you leave me tied spread eagle on my stomach. Will you toy with my anus? You know it is awkward for me and at the same time highly arousing. You know just what pushes my buttons.

I love the way you bought me my first pair of panties, and even when I was scared and nervous about wearing them out, you replaced my boxers with pink satin panties while I was showering. It was an exquisite day.

I am sure that as we grow old together as Husband and Wife, we will grow into a permanent Mistress & slave/sissy life as well.

                                                                                                                                       In Loving Slavery,

 

                                                                                                                                            slave

Mistress K: The Beginning

As I write this first blog post, my slave is in the kitchen, cooking me bacon and eggs with a black leather collar locked around his neck, wearing a frilly red apron and nothing else.

I am a college-educated, professional woman in my mid-twenties living in the Northeast US, and I married a submissive. He happens to be the only man with whom I’ve ever had a relationship. When we started dating, I didn’t know he was a submissive and I didn’t know I was a dominant. He did. That aspect of our relationship has evolved gradually over years of deepening love, trust, and respect. It has been a journey of discovery, worry, and excitement. I have learned many things about the spectrum of BDSM, primarily from my husband and the enlightening books he has purchased for me. 

I’ve had many questions over these last few years. If we became Mistress and slave, would the man I married turn into someone else? What if I took the control too far, and lost sight of our loving relationship—what if I hurt him, physically or emotionally? What if he wanted things that I simply wasn’t comfortable with, and he ended up unsatisfied with our sex life? 

When my slave suggested that I start this blog, I was excited as I’ve rarely been excited about anything before. First, because I am a writer, but I have never found a subject I could be passionate enough about to persistently write about it. And I knew that this would be that subject. Second, writing about our D/s relationship for an audience would allow me to explore it more deeply, from different angles. 

I want to share this journey with others who may share some of my experiences and concerns. I will talk about how we got to this point, and I will share my new thoughts and feelings as our relationship moves forward—because my husband and I still have a long life ahead of us, and my slave and I still have a lot to discover together. Sometimes my slave may write a guest post from his own point of view. Both of us have learned a lot from the writing of other people who haven’t been afraid to share their experiences as Mistress or Domme. Books and blog posts have helped us understand and accept our unique relationship. I want to give that back. Thanks to the Internet, I can! 

Obviously, this blog may not be for everyone. And not every post may be for everyone. My husband and I are into full 24/7 servitude (allowing for the requirements of real life and work, of course), bondage, chastity and orgasm denial, sissification, and pegging, among others. I don’t expect every Mistress and slave couple to share all of our preferences, nor do I necessarily enjoy everything you all enjoy. I am also not fully versed in the proper terminology for this scene, so excuse my mistakes as I learn. I assume no one reading this is the judgmental type. Take what you like and leave the rest.

Until next time,

Mistress K