As I write
this first blog post, my slave is in the kitchen, cooking me bacon and eggs
with a black leather collar locked around his neck, wearing a frilly red apron
and nothing else.
I am a college-educated, professional woman in my mid-twenties living in the Northeast US, and I married a submissive. He happens to be the only man with whom I’ve ever had a relationship. When we started dating, I didn’t know he was a submissive and I didn’t know I was a dominant. He did. That aspect of our relationship has evolved gradually over years of deepening love, trust, and respect. It has been a journey of discovery, worry, and excitement. I have learned many things about the spectrum of BDSM, primarily from my husband and the enlightening books he has purchased for me.
I am a college-educated, professional woman in my mid-twenties living in the Northeast US, and I married a submissive. He happens to be the only man with whom I’ve ever had a relationship. When we started dating, I didn’t know he was a submissive and I didn’t know I was a dominant. He did. That aspect of our relationship has evolved gradually over years of deepening love, trust, and respect. It has been a journey of discovery, worry, and excitement. I have learned many things about the spectrum of BDSM, primarily from my husband and the enlightening books he has purchased for me.
I’ve had
many questions over these last few years. If we became Mistress and slave,
would the man I married turn into someone else? What if I took the control too
far, and lost sight of our loving relationship—what if I hurt him, physically
or emotionally? What if he wanted things that I simply wasn’t comfortable with,
and he ended up unsatisfied with our sex life?
When my
slave suggested that I start this blog, I was excited as I’ve rarely been
excited about anything before. First, because I am a writer, but I have never
found a subject I could be passionate enough about to persistently write about
it. And I knew that this would be that subject. Second, writing about our D/s
relationship for an audience would allow me to explore it more deeply, from different
angles.
I want
to share this journey with others who may share some of my experiences and
concerns. I will talk about how we got to this point, and I will share my new
thoughts and feelings as our relationship moves forward—because my husband and I
still have a long life ahead of us, and my slave and I still have a lot to
discover together. Sometimes my slave may write a guest post from his own point
of view. Both of us have learned a lot from the writing of other people who
haven’t been afraid to share their experiences as Mistress or Domme. Books and
blog posts have helped us understand and accept our unique relationship. I want
to give that back. Thanks to the Internet, I can!
Obviously,
this blog may not be for everyone. And not every post may be for everyone. My
husband and I are into full 24/7 servitude (allowing for the requirements of
real life and work, of course), bondage, chastity and orgasm denial,
sissification, and pegging, among others. I don’t expect every Mistress and
slave couple to share all of our preferences, nor do I necessarily enjoy
everything you all enjoy. I am also not fully versed in the proper terminology
for this scene, so excuse my mistakes as I learn. I assume no one reading this
is the judgmental type. Take what you like and leave the rest.
Until
next time,
Mistress K
I am curious what your major was in college. Did you have any influences from either reading or films that helped you become who you are today?
ReplyDeleteAnonymous,your question made me think about influences I'd never realized! My degrees were in English literature and professional writing, and I had to read a lot of feminist literature and theory in school. I didn't think too deeply about it then, but that probably paved the way for the feelings described in "The Day My Slave Shaved." Margaret Atwood's "The Handmaid's Tale",a lot of works by Isabel Allende,and some of Jhumpa Lahiri's short stories come to mind off the top of my head. I've never really read or watched any BDSM books or movies.I did grow up reading mainstream romance novels throughout my teen years, and their sex scenes(normally very vanilla) taught me how to pleasure myself instinctively and made me very open about sexuality despite my Catholic upbringing. Sorry if you were expecting a more explicitly erotic femdom reading list!
ReplyDeleteWell, first of all, who you are is much more than being married and being a "mistress." Those are parts of you. Second, thank you for your answer, and no I was not hoping for something more explicit.
DeleteA couple of things have struck me about you in reading your blog posts. (1) You are open minded and you like to work with your partner. BDSM is a partnership and not a command-obedience dynamic. (2) You have evolved from a loving relationship to a M/s one, and this happened through curiosity, kinkiness, and attraction to your partner.
What I have found most attractive about you is your mind-set. As a writer and English language major, you already had to be willing to explore the world and other viewpoints -- and then as a writer -- be able to synthesize your observations.
I, too, am in a M/s secondary relationship, and I am writing novella about a femdom - malesub relationship. When I finish, I'm wondering if there will be any readership for the finished product and where I make take the manuscript for publication. It is erotica. I've read that when writing erotica (or any genre) stick to it. So, that has been my guide.
The one difference in my story from the 1000s of stories on the internet is length, life experience, and multiple characters. There is a story, and the story explores the fantasy / reality of a malesub meeting a Mistress and having his life change.
Back to you blog, one thing I have liked so far is your editorial judgment. You have been effective at avoiding empty topics or filler. IMO its better not to write at all then to post: I got up today, was not in the mood, and then I went to the super-market - ect...
Thanks for responding to my post.
Thank you. I'm receiving very thoughtful, sincere, and insightful comments, and it's interesting and encouraging to see my own writing and character from other peoples' perspective.
DeleteGood luck with your own writing endeavors. I'd be interested in reading some of it when it's ready!
Just wanted to pipe in and say welcome. It's been a while since there has been a new blog on BlogSpot with this potential. I'll definitely be checking in! sub J sounds like a lucky boy.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Fransblogger!
ReplyDelete